So it's Friday again.

I'm feeling defeated.

My intention is always to help clients help themselves.

I get requests from clients that they want a community, somewhere to feel supported and build friendships...

I try to cater, I try to provide a place online for my women enrolled in my subscription that gives access to my real training life, with all that goes with the lifestyle of strength training, nutrition, wellness, mindset, all that body and mind daily practice I live.

I committed to myself at the age of 17 to help women who just like me didn't have anyone to guide them through how to train and keep going, how to get lean and manage it all.

This private place is the oasis away from social media I wanted from the beginning and it is the one that truly remains solid.

It's where I come in to share the news, link to content of interest based on my clients who ask me for support and workout plans to cover their needs.

Today is a day when I feel that no matter what I do, I can't deliver.

My work as coach is based on covering my own needs for my body, health and mind, my self-relationship. I don't rely on anyone else to cheer on me, motivate me or push me to keep it up.

That's all on me.

I get contacted by all the typical coaching apps that provide automated programming, check-ins, food journal tracking, body progress photo tracking and all those thing that I just do not care about.

These things must come from individual and personal commitment to stay on plan. 

No diet tracker or coaching app works in the way you build real self reliance and self-trust.

The constant data collecting and obsessive tracking of more things than you need lead to leaving it all behind, quitting and starting over, phasing out and then try it again, get in shape, get out of shape, never continue, just start over....

I cherish my clients who I meet for regular one on one meetings. The need to meet someone who keeps you focused can not be underemphasized.

The meetings serve as regular reminders to think twice before you make poor choices, to reflect upon the consequences of your actions before you go for them.

The opportunities for constant self-sabotage is just too abundant and the difficulty lies within the fact you are alone and nobody is your police!

There is a time and place for tracking nutrition and mastering how to.

There is also a time and place to practice letting go of it.

You don't want to spend your life tracking entries day after day and then realizing that you miss living your life, you are just in your mind debating about what to do, how to eat now, how many grams of carbs, fats, protein you have left.

Many times I find myself wondering what on earth people are doing when they can't train the way they're used to.

What do you do when you are injured or having more stresses in life than you can handle?

How do you make your nutrition plan simple yet enjoyable so you can actually get into the productive routine of eating same, same for some time to avoid miscalculations or last minute impulse eating?

I wonder what do you do for your body to heal faster, to speed up recovery and manage pains or injuries? 

How do you truly stay in shape, go train and keep up your cardio to stay strong? 

And how do you avoid becoming self destructive when you feel nothing is worth living for and you have no purpose in life?

How do YOU manage your mind so you can let go of that nightly anxiety tormenting that won't stop and keeps you from sleeping?

What about comparing your old self and what you used to look like, be like, how strong you were and now you're not feeling that young and sexy anymore, you lost your confidence and nothing matters, you feel it's all downhill from now on...?

It's easy to say screw it I'm starting over, on monday it's back to fat loss mode and then never ever have a cheat day again.

But that is never the reality is it....

Today it is Friday and many of you want to stay on Defeed to get leaner to feel invincible winning over your weakness.

That desire to stay on plan will likely be different tomorrow Saturday if you are not mindful about how your mind will shift and motivate you for "gotta enjoy life!" with too much crap you always regret having chosen when the moment of indulging is gone....

And then, on Sunday you'll likely notice that it is easy to justify starting over tomorrow, but today we have a last Sunday feast, because everyone knows nobody lasts on a diet until we die.

So then, every Monday you start your new week with the best intentions....and feeling fatter, weaker and more pissed at yourself for falling for the same seduction game your mind plays on you AGAIN!.....

It might just be me who can relate to this mentality. In that case I completely get it why you not need someone like me in your corner to keep you motivated and in check for yourself.

I know that for myself I have ground rules.

I have a system for when I fast and when I feast.

I have a clear plan on what I need to do to stay in shape.

I know my weaknesses and how to avoid them.

I have figured out my temptations and know how to override them.

I use all my strategies for successful nutrition compliance that I coach you all about.

I FOLLOW MY OWN PHILOSOPHY.....I keep it simple.

I do not entertain having a spontaneous snack in the middle of the day or unplanned. There is no such thing in my routine, I have deconditioned that away for a long time now.

But if I don't keep up and keep to my rules and know what I can bend and what I don't then I'd be back to my body and mind I really feel is not my best where I feel amazing, strong and fit, like a super human with god like powers over my human nature....

When you show up to practice and do your best every day then that practice becomes more and more transformational.

And...is that not what you want? A real life change in who you are, what you are about and how you feel about yourself?

You are here with me to be your own best self.

The way to become your own best friend is not to avoid confrontation or take the easy way out.

I am writing this knowing it'll piss you off, and that is ok.

I am not coaching you to get an award for being sweet.

I coach you to take action and expect more self love and fighting spirit in you.

It's better you get mad at me for pointing out that maybe, just maybe you are not doing anything for yourself to transform and build yourself up than it is that you give up and quit.

So there you have it, Superstars. A long stream of consciousness about my work as coach and the challenges that come with making you want to show up for yourself....not just on the days when you're feeling that fear of losing control if you don't, but on all days.

Now let's eat!